It has been nine months today since my dad died. It’s still hard to type the words.
I do sleep through the nights now. And my appetite has returned (darn). I don’t hold my breath all the time now. And my IBS seems better. But the estate is not settled. The grave marker design has gotten botched and has to be redone (another wait). The paperwork seems unending.
The things he left for us… I don’t know how to enjoy. Don’t know how I will ever feel that they are mine and not a burden to be cared for as I know he would have.
I can speak of him now without total sadness. I do remember his faults along with his strengths. But how do you replace your biggest advocate?
I am trying to “give it time” and “it’ll get better”… and some days it is. But some days, it is not.
I have so much I want to do to honor him… but I still seem somewhat paralyzed at the same time. I want to write about him and have in my personal journals (Daddy’s Girl without a Dad)… but his accomplishments merit something more long lasting. hmmm.
So many questions and without the one I would usually ask for advice. Knowing tomorrow will be better. Warm wishes to each of you.